You want to be part of the group, a member of the club. Everyone wants to belong somewhere. A way to enter in any social circle is to learn the group language. We can adopt the practice of a lexicographer, someone who compiles and writes dictionaries. As writer Roy Peter Clark observes, we can all be lexicographers.
But, instead of just collecting words of any group, become a collector of words of a particular group. Whether the group is 7-year-olds, elderly bridge players, tomato farmers, or entrepreneurs, each group is a “discourse community” with its own set of vocabulary, syntax, and pragmatics. Knowing the language is the way to enter and the key to open new opportunities.
How to join a group is to learn its language. Here are six practices that will help you become an insider.
1. Listen to what people are saying.
Tune in to other parents as you pick up your son from baseball practice or your daughter from school. What are they talking about? How the left fielder caught record number of hits during practice? Or, a yoga move? Suddenly the terms “left fielder” and “sun salutation” don’t sound so foreign.
2. Do informal interviews.
Ask members what something means- What do you call this? This is a great phrase to know when learning another language, foreign or not.
Spanish: ¿Qué es esto? [kay es es-toe]
French: Qu’est-ce que c’est? [kess ka say]
Pointing and grunting works too.
3. Read.
Pick up the local paper. What is the community concerned about? What words are special to the community? Gator has more meaning than just a jagged-toothed reptile in Gainesville, Florida, home of the University of Florida.
4. Follow social media.
Follow the social media of the community leaders and news feeds. The headlines will increase your awareness of the political environment and concerns of your community.
5. Eat.
Go to a local restaurant or café and study the menu. What ingredients are being used? What is the special dish? Order it and try it!
A dialect study conducted in the United States asked people: “What do you call the sandwich that contains cold cuts, lettuce, and so on?”
If you answer, “sub”, then you’re among the majority at 77%. If you’re in New England, you’re more likely to order a “grinder,” a toasted sandwich layered with Italian meats, provolone, and drizzled with olive oil. In the Philadelphia area, you’ll crave a “hoagie,” an extra long sandwich stuffed with cold cuts. And of course, New Orleans has its own- the “po’ boy” which many consider a class of its own for its fried seafood filling.
Some sandwiches get their fame not from a local area but from print. In the comic strip Blondie, the bow-tied grinning character Dagwood Blumstead has an insatiable appetite and piles layers of meats, cheeses, bread slices, and condiments into a leaning skyscraper barely held together by a toothpick and green olive.
6. Shop at the local market.
Casually eavesdrop when people are talking in the aisles or catching up over tomatoes at the market. You’ll be surprised at what you learn. You’ll also be able to notice the socioeconomic value of the community and their values of food. Good olive oil and wine indicate luxuries while off-brand, discount potato chips suggest otherwise.
7. Participate!
Like learning a foreign language, practicing is usually the last step and the hardest, but the most important. No longer are you a passive observer but are contributing.
Use new words in your next greeting, such as “y’all” the contraction of “you all”, which is commonly used in place of the plural form of “you.” According to Memphis expert Teresa Simpson, “It’s as Southern as cornbread, iced tea, and swatting mosquitos on a porch in the summer time: use of the word “y’all”.
For example, “Is this y’alls dog?” or “Are these y’alls biscuits?” Sounding like a local might just win you the secret recipe for the flakiest biscuits.
Another example of learning how to navigate in the community is learning the language of the local products. Order a pint of locally crafted Swamp Head beer and you’ll be high-fived in Gainesville, Florida.
As the saying goes, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Think of Rome not just as a foreign country but any group you want to join. Use these practices—listen, read, shop, talk, eat—and you’ll navigate the new area with ease and tact.